Here are the thoughts of Joanna nee Lake as she spends time in Ecuador, and beyond... Disciple, Fairtrade Freak, Psychologist in the making. Now part of the Blundell Jones clan.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Life is tough...

It was just the other day that I emailed a friend in response to her question as to how I was feeling about having to stay longer than I had planned originally, whether I was pleased or ready to go home… at the beginning of the week I said I was more than happy to stay, I’m very content here and I love my work and the people I know but by the end of the week this had changed and I had even several times thought I just want to go home NOW!

So what happened?
So, as you’ll have read from last week, I got mugged, I spent one day sort of dazed then got back to my usual self. That was until wednesday night…

I had arranged to meet up with my EJE (the church youth weekend) ‘family’ sisters, Mariela and Diana at CCI one of the shopping centre near my house. We met and decided to go to a café which is in another centre just down the road. We were just starting to walk down, deep in conversation and I heard a fist slap a hand. At that moment I felt the most incredible sense of evil in my chest and looked to see what it was – the girl who’d mugged me with a load of other people, and although I didn’t see her well, I just knew it was her. After that I couldn’t really attend to the conversation and it wasn’t until we got to the restaurant that I told my friends what had happened…

Understandably, I think, I felt/have felt/do feel still very shaken… to know that these people frequent my area is upsetting! The actual mugging was fine, a ‘freak’ event, even if it was close to my house – but to know that these people could be watching me at any moment, planning to ‘get me’ is just almost too much to bear. I’m taking steps to reduce the likelihood that they see me, like I won’t be going to either of those shopping centres for a long time, like I won’t be walking anywhere near the area as far as is possible, and not going out in the evening…But to be honest, I have been facing a real battle against fear and have found myself crying lots – to know that there are people out there, close by, who only want to do you damage is horrible!!! Though Armando pointed out that the girl probably only ‘threatened’ me in that manner so as to say ‘ don’t you dare dob me in to the police’, that it probably wasn’t a ‘we’re gonna get you again’…but still. I spent 3/4 days REALLY low, finding comfort and strength in the Word, pulling out verses from places and writing them on cards to remind me that I have a God who is all powerful, that I don’t need to fear anything… it was sooo hard but i think i'm through the woods now!! phew!!

Other news…
Last week wasn't a great week for other news either, discovered my granny has a problem with her heart which the doctor says is inoperable and it don’t look good… and also a wee lad from the boys home had a REALLY bad fall from the second floor terrace onto his head and is in hospital in a really bad way, though the awesome news today is that he seems to be recovering well, he's conscious and eating!! Yeay!!! But in spite of all the ‘mishaps’, work is good…although I have had thoughts of leaving Ecuador I don’t really want to coz I love me work … So last week we finally finished all we could in the nursery before the architect finishes the roof and puts on the door, which is very satisfying… and I’ve got 2 new volunteers as well who are lovely, Pamela, 32, USA and Robbie, 19, UK…I spent a morning cleaning windows with Pamela and she’s just so eager to learn Spanish and is trying so hard, and is so willing just to help with anything which is a great help!!
The kids are lovely (although cheeky!) as usual… had a lovely conversation with a couple of the girls about my time in Bolivia explaining differences between the 2 countries (well I enjoyed it, I hope they did, though it might have been one of those 'we'll-just-humour-the-adult-as-they-ramble-on' type conversations for them!!!). I brought everyone in ‘my house’ back some choc from Bolivia which the kids enjoyed, but what is annoying is that they really look a gift horse in the mouth – you give them something and immediately they ask for more!!! Never satisfied, this attitude makes me not want to give because they need to learn to appreciate what they have and to respect people. Though it wasn’t all of them – some of them said a big thankyou and gave me hug… Although at times they drive me mad, I love them and I’ll miss them lots when I leave!!

So life goes on, we keep fighting!!! Oodles of love to yous all!!
As always, me xxxxxxxxx


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